Just the other day my testimony was aired on TBN Family Media and once again I was shocked by the feedback I got from the viewers. Having been on various shows in different media houses, I should by now have gotten used to the varying and sometimes crazy feedback, but for some reason I keep expecting that every time it will be a different experience.
Maybe it is because I go on the shows with a simple reason to encourage and inspire the viewers but it always proves that the viewers are looking for something more than just encouragement and inspiration. In fact, some want none of that, but there is something else that they see in me that makes them either email, call or text me with their requests, and when they do, they are very convinced that they have put forward their requests to the right person.
So what was the feedback after my testimony was aired on the program GOD CHANGES PEOPLE? As varied as they come:
There are those who watched my testimony and cried throughout when they realized I was telling their stories as well. It gave them encouragement, that I went through so much and came out victorious, so they knew that they too, would come out of what they were going through with a testimony in their mouths and a song of praise.
There was the second lot that watched the program and saw my protruding tummy and in that they saw a business opportunity. They therefore emailed and requested me to buy an education policy from them.
There was a third lot that also saw my protruding tummy and in that they saw a job opportunity, so they emailed and asked me to employ them as house helps etc.
There was a fourth lot that when at the end of the program my husband was given a chance to say hallo and throw in a word of encouragement to men out there, all they saw was a lot of dollar$$ so they have been texting and emailing their proposals for school bursaries and the like. I wish I was as rich as people think I am. There were also those in this category who have written with a request to ask if they can be my property and estate managers. I say, someday soon, that is a prayer you are praying for me, for God to bless me enough to employ property and estate managers.
Then there was a fifth lot that saw my husband and only noticed his colour, and wondered why I had to marry a white man. And the hate mails came. Some have gone as far as writing to ask me if there was a shortage of men in Kenya for me to get married outside Kenya.
If you are one of those men that wrote to ask me that, trust me you
don’t want to hear my answer because it might send you straight to ICU. Well,
in my view, my 2 cents on this, the polite view that won’t send you to ICU, whether there is
a shortage of men in Kenya or not is not my problem, because I belong to a
kingdom where the word ‘shortage’ does not exist. If God saw it fit to import a
husband just for me, he he he, who am I to say no? I know someone will send me a hate email because of this statement, he he he. That prophesy in Isaiah 4:1
that says that a time will come when 7 women will cling on to one man just to
be associated with him, pp, I say
that that is not my portion in Jesus name!
Most of the time we see people on TV and we think they have told us everything about themselves. They tell us a very small section about their lives and we fill up all the gaps. We see what we want to see. We make their lives what we want to make them. And some people even go as far as spreading rumours about people they hardly know based on a 30 minutes interview that they heard on radio or telly. What is 30 minutes compared to a lifetime? What makes us think that a 30 minutes interview gives us the right to think we know everything about everyone?
I understand why people see what they want to see, because even I, when I look at the mirror, I want to see a beautiful woman smiling back at me. I love dancing, I did that a lot before age caught up with me and before a crazy matatu driver decided to send my leg on a compulsory leave. And so when I try a new move in front of the mirror, even when I know I suck at it, I still want to see a perfect move that can win me some kind of award. So even before I look at the mirror, I already have an image on my mind of how I should look like, or what I should see.
I am reminded of a newspaper article that was published about an year ago by a leading media house here in Kenya. The article had a few mistakes which haunt me even today. The newspaper mentioned that my uterus was removed during a CS operation and the doctors debated about discarding it (which is true); what the article forgot to say is that in the end the doctors returned it back.
Now you can imagine what the feedback from that article was. From people feeling so sorry for me, to men, especially widowers, writing to ask me out, to people, who knew the truth calling me a liar and accusing me of lying so as to get famous.
I remember this high profile government official that invited me for coffee, and the naïve me thought he wanted to help me promote the book (I had just released my first book Broken To Be Made Whole). So I went for coffee, looking very sharp in a business suit. A cup of coffee later, the guy was already telling me he was widowed, had school going children, and was interested in marrying me. Don’t forget I had just met him!
Then there was this Kenyan ‘pastor’ who resides I think in Netherlands, but was on a working holiday here, I forgot his details sorry, and he asked me to deliver a couple of books in town. I did. A cup of coffee later, the pastor was already telling me how God spoke to him while in Netherlands, or wherever it is that he lives, and told him that I was going to be his wife. This trend was now becoming very worrying. In all politeness I told the man of the cloth that I was in speaking terms with God as well so if He, God, wanted me to marry him then he would have spoken to me directly as well. Well, to cut a long story short, several days later, several angry text messages from him, and several threats to assassinate my reputation, the case ended at a police station because the man of God did not believe that he was going back home without me.. And yes, this one too I only met him once…which reminds me he didn’t even pay for my books because he thought by not paying me, he had given me a reason to see him another day to collect the cash, which of course I did not! This is where you all help me say in unison, ‘riswa!’
All in all, I usually joke that this particular article earned me more would-be-husbands than it encouraged people. I got so many marriage proposals from strangers. And these are just but a few of the stuff am willing to make public, there have been crazier stuff that have cropped up because of an article appearing in the papers, but I have learnt to somehow ignore people’s opinions especially those who purposely say stuff to hurt me.
So again I ask, even if you read something in the newspapers, or online, how sure are you that that information is true? And whether it is true or not, what makes us think that a one or two page article is enough to tell us everything about a person? even if your story has never appeared on a newspaper or anywhere else for that matter, am sure there are people who have taken one look at you and judged your whole life based on that half a minute encounter you have had with them. The problem is that most of us listen to other people’s opinions of us more than we listen to what God says about us. We allow their opinions to cripple us. I have made up my mind that if I read something negative about myself somewhere, I will just laugh it off and move on to the place that God has called me to be.
My question is, is it so important how others see you? Should you kill yourself trying to make other people see you the way you want them to see you. I came to one conclusion, that what matters most is how God sees you. If I can see myself the way God sees me, then I am set for life.
In my 3rd book, The View From Above, I have explained how true freedom (from other people’s opinions) can only come when you know what the heavens are saying about you. “…If you know the truth about who you are in God, and what the view is from above, what heavens says about you, then you will easily blossom wherever it is that God has planted you, even if you are in a desert. …” The View From Above (Book).